The Status Blog

AgentVladimir

• 01:38:29 pm on January 21, 2011 | # | 0
  Tags: dear

  Dear Noah,
  We could have sworn you said the ark wasn’t leaving till 5.
  Sincerely, Unicorns

  Dear America,
  You produced Miley Cyrus. Bieber is your punishment.
  Sincerely, Canada

  Dear Boyfriend,
  I can make your girlfriend scream louder than you can.
  Sincerely, Spiders

  Dear Voldemort,
  So they screwed up your nose too?
  Sincerely, Michael Jackson

  Dear Yahoo,
  I’ve never heard anyone say, “I don’t know, let’s Yahoo! it…” just saying…
  Sincerely, Google

  Dear girls who have been dumped,
  There are plenty of fish in the sea… Just kidding! They’re all dead.
  Sincerely, BP

  Dear Justin Bieber,
  Ariel would really love her voice back.
  Sincerely, King Triton

  Dear Windshield Wipers,
  Can’t touch this.
  Sincerely, That Little Triangle

  Dear Taylor Swift,
  If it is of any interest to you, Romeo and Juliet both kill themselves in the end.
  Sincerely, Shakespeare

  Dear Boys Wearing Skinny Jeans,
  I. Can’t. Breathe.
  Sincerely, Your Balls

  Dear Martin Luther King Jr.,
  I have a dream within a dream within a dream within another dream… What now?
  Sincerely, Leonardo DiCaprio

  Dear Toaster,
  Just gonna stand there and watch me burn?
  Sincerely, Toast

  Dear Edward,
  I really hope that one day, I can find my way into your heart.
  Sincerely, a stake

  Dear Icebergs,
  Sorry to hear about the global warming. Karma’s a bitch.
  Sincerely, The Titanic

  Dear Twilight fans,
  Please realize that because vampires are dead and have no blood pumping through them, they can never get an erection.
  Enjoy fantasizing about that.
  Sincerely, Logic

  Dear J.K. Rowling,
  Your books are entirely unrealistic. I mean, a ginger kid with two friends?
  Sincerely, Anonymous